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Monday, March 28, 2011

Getting through it. Not over it.

Where to begin.... Well I went in last Wednesday to have my blood drawn, so my hormones could be tested. They are finally back to normal after 3 weeks. Now we just have to wait for a normal cycle to come before we can start trying again. But now that i'm not pregnant I have been trying to take care of this rash thing on my foot/ankle, that I have had for over 2 years. I have taken over the counter creams, thinking it was a fungus. Unfortunetly that didn't work. So I went to a doctor about a year ago, and was given several things to try to make it go away, none of them working. Then we got insurance and jumped at the chance to get pregnant, and while I was Pregnant, my foot bothered me so much, it itched, it was red, and puffy. It was awful, so when I had the miscarriege, I decided to get it taken care of for good, before we get pregnant. So I went to the doctor, who happens to got to my church. He gave me a topical dream that I have been using for 2 weeks now twice a day, and it seems to be worse, and itches just as bad. He doesn't think its fungul. So since it isn't wokring I need to go back, because he said that if it doesn't, he wants to do a biopsy on it to see what this is. So currently that is my situation with my foot. It will be a month this Wednesday since I have had my miscarriage. I'm still sad and get kinda depressed every other day or two. Its hard because I know several people who's babies are due around when mine would have been due, so when I see them or pictures, its hard not to be upset(sad). I figure once I get pregnant I will be much better, but until then I will work through this. I don't know why but every Sunday at church it hits me like a freight train, and my emotions get the best of me, and I cry. When someone just finds out that i am no longer pregnant, that is hard for me to explain it all over. I just wished everybody knew. I have relized its not getting over it, its getting through it. Like I have told people, I will get through this on my own time and in my own way. (BTW... My husband is a big support to me through this, he is my rock.) Anywho... That is how I am doing.

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